Unrecognized pain

Life was beautiful without any pain till I crossed the age of 16. everything was fine and suddenly one day I found myself bleeding. I was scared too much and ran to my mom and then I started crying and I told her,” Maa! save me I am bleeding, what happened to me I am scared, please help me. She politely and lovingly hugged me and said you are mature now, don’t be panic it is all a matter of age, it is just a natural and biological process, and then she taught me everything related to the menstrual cycle. I was asked not to enter the kitchen for three days and in the temple for seven days, she told me that according to the Hindu religion a girl in periods becomes unholy. I was a young girl having a lot of questions running through my mind, I asked her if it is just a biological process then why we are declared as unholy ones in periods? the whole process is made by God then why we cannot enter the temple? and she answered that in this natural process we have several kinds of germs in our body which can be harmful to others. So, to ensure safe surroundings women are forced to not enter the temple and kitchen. I thought it was a logical reason and never questioned again on this topic. I also thought that women never get any holiday from the kitchen hence this could be the best reason to get some rest. Several months have passed with the normal bleeding process but slowly they started becoming a curse for me. my health was decreasing year by year but my pain was increasing every month, every time I was having more terrible cramps than the last one, I was losing my weight rapidly. I used to cry and shout because that pain was terrible, it is still terrible but might be I am habitual of that pain now. Every month, for three days, I was even unable to stand or sit straight, those painful and sleepless night still makes me scared. I have gone through many medical tests and met many doctors and gynecologists, I have tried homeopathy, Ayurveda, and allopathic

but everything was proved as useless for me. Slowly the pain became depression for me. The most cursing days of my life are those days when I have my periods. I heard many people saying it happens with every girl you are overreacting; you are too weak to tolerate this pain, I am sorry there is no medication for this menstrual pain because it is natural it can be cured temporarily, you have to tolerate this pain you don’t have any other option. But no, I was not ready to stop and I tried yoga and meditation too. But again, the pain was irrefutable. Why a girl’s pain has not been considered painful, it is a natural process but why there is no input from doctors and scientists to make this pain tolerable. Three days in a month means 36 days in a year, it means I suffer from terrible intolerable pain for one month in a year. And still, I have no other option but to tolerate.

One day while surfing online I found the information that period cramping can be described as almost as bad as having a heart attack.

And women have dysmenorrhea, which is referred to as painful periods. And the severity can make them unable to even move and cry out in agony. If men ever have pain with this much intensity, he is surely taken to hospital by his family but at the same time, girls are told to tolerate the same pain every month. Even doctors are not taking the pain seriously. I still suffer from this pain every month but I can’t cry and shout every time, I can’t curse myself for being a girl, I have to stand straight no matter what, I have to smile, I have to go to college because of attendance is must, I can not miss my one moth in crying and lying on the bed because I am a girl made to tolerate every kind of pain whether it is mental or physical. Even this physical, natural phenomenon made me think of suicide many times but then I am a strong girl with unlimited power. No, not just me every girl having painful periods is the strongest human on the earth for me because we experience death every time, we have periods.

People are talking about women’s empowerment, talking about rapes, acid attacks, and domestic violence openly but why none is talking about this so-called natural pain. Why there is no effort to make women empowered physically, why people don’t support women in their periods so that they can tolerate the pain a little bit easier. We are going in the wrong direction. Women empowerment is not about making women and men equal but it is more about making women capable of doing what they can without any fear. This natural phenomenon makes a woman a mother still she is called unholy. this ironic society makes the one who creates and gives birth to everyone feel unholy and insulted. If I talk on this topic openly about why I am considered a shameless girl, why do I have to smile in such a near to death experience just to hide the reason for my pain from people? but I will talk about it openly and I suggest every girl suffering from the same problem talk about it openly, to cry openly because it is not a matter to hide.

This is my blood, not a stain,

Don’t tell me you are empathetic if you can’t understand my pain.

-Richa Sharma