‘Friend-Ship: not so easy to sail’

Growing up we all had so many friends, different friends from different places, there were friends from school we used to study with, from home we used to play with after coming from school, from Nani’s and Dadi’s place whom we used to meet once a year. Overwhelming! isn’t it? But if I ask how many of them are still your friends? What would be your answer? Well, it’s difficult to answer, not because we don’t know the exact number but because we don’t want to turn that page, might be the fear of knowing the reason behind it. Some people might be brave enough to answer the question by saying that ‘somehow we lost touch. But it would take even more courage to explore the reason behind it.

Let’s do this, shall we? Okay, I’ll go first.

So like everyone, I also had a childhood best friend, Surbhi. She and I were neighbors, we even used to go to the same school but not in the same class as she was one year older than me. We were together all the time, going to school, meeting in recess, coming home, and playing in the evening. We were inseparable, even used to dine at each other’s homes. Then she and I passed our high school and went to different schools for high secondary, then we went to different states for our graduation. Busy with our separate lives, we didn’t get much time to meet, then to talk, then even chat. And that’s how we lost touch. What, did I say something obvious, something we all find common in our stories?

Now whom would you blame? Is it me or her or the circumstances or no one, it’s just the way it has to be. Have you ever pondered upon how come our parents and grandparents are still friends with their childhood friends? And we can’t even assure that a person we call our friend today would still be our friend the very next day.

The blame game we play that it was the other person’s fault that we are not friends now is merely an excuse and an escape for us from exploring the actual reasons. For a very long time, even I used to use these excuses that I don’t need friends, I am a grown-up, I am practical, and can easily survive living alone. Even used to justify my thinking by quoting that you should be friends with yourself or you are your best friends etc. But at the end of the day, I had no one to talk to, no one to share my day, nothing. I am not saying that you should have so many friends but at least you should have one friend, not best for the world but best for you.

I remember a session by my college director Dr. Prabhat Pankaj, in which he mentioned that we all should have a 2 am friend. That one friend with whom you could talk about anything whether it is personal or professional should not matter. But to have such kind of friendship, it takes that much trust, reliability, and most importantly that much time to build these things. And we are so impatient, we want to have all this but are not ready for all things which need to be done to achieve that. It’s because we give up so easily, that we think and do the extreme that could happen. Just one disagreement over something and we end the relationship.
See, making friends is not difficult, it is making that friendship sustain what takes effort. Not just in friendship, any kind of relationship takes some effort, some adjustments, some initiatives, and some compromises.

I have found a new friendship that started here at Jaipuria, my 2 am friend Srishti Yadav. No, we are not roommates, not classmates, and don’t have even enrolled in the same course but still share a very great and strong bond of friendship.

Being together all the time does not ensure a long friendship, being there for your friend is what you need, and when you find that one strong bond with someone then, it doesn’t matter that you talk daily what matters is that you know that person is there whenever you need.
I hope everyone finds their 2 am friend and excellently sails their ‘friendship’.

By Mansi Verma