Finally I am writing about it!

So every time I experience a good or bad day, I tell myself I’ll write about it. Every time I get heartbroken, I tell myself I’ll write about it. Learning and not repeating those mistakes is what people do. They learn, unlearn, and grow. I must be people. But I always wondered how things would be if I had written about them. Would I deal with the heartbreak better? Would I make lesser mistakes? I don’t know.
But when I know, maybe I’ll write about it.

So here’s to my first “The Moment.” My moment came unplanned. Like many people, I went to Rishikesh too in June with my sisters and friends. It was a very sudden trip planned a day before. We planned sports and explored the market, and we’d go to Dehradun the next day. We reached Rishikesh at 4 in the morning. It was raining. Later the same day, we went on a trek, and it took us quite a long to return. We were tired, so we thought we could go and sit at the Ganga Ghat. We reached there, and the sound of Shankh greeted us.
We sat there and attended the bhajans and then the aarti. I have never felt more alive in my life yet, which I was during the aarti. Feeling alive is the phrase we all have heard from people experiencing while jumping from a 1500ft mountain into the sea or going on a ten-day trek and watching the sunrise from the peak. I know now what it feels like when you can feel your heartbeat, feel every vein in your brain, just relax, and take a break from people and life. While I was sitting in the aarti, watching The Ganga River, my whole life came into the front of my eyes and how exactly I wanted my life to be. I realized this was the end. This is where my life’s going to end and before that end comes, I have so much to do. My most alive moment made me realize my end. That moment taught me how less we feel grateful for this life and how important it is to acknowledge people every time. My moment taught me how many more mistakes I have to make and how much more I want to relive such moments that I feel difficult to express but will remain the most important part of life. I have never felt this close to my life. But will I be able to feel it again? I don’t know.

But when I know, maybe I’ll write again.

Devangi Mathur (22-24)