The day I got clean bowled

Ever felt that you were good at something but failed when you got the opportunity to showcase your talent?

Well! I felt this on the very first day of my college.
It was during my cricket team trials. I went for trials, and after having a good fielding session, we were asked to choose whether we wanted to bat or bowl. Though I was interested in batting and bowling, I decided to bat. Though I had never played in nets with leather balls, I still went to bat and what happened next was something I never expected. I got clean bowled!! On the very first ball, I faced.
I was the only batter who was bowled that day in the nets. I failed in the sport I love the most; I follow the most. It was like the end of everything for me. I came out of the nets and unpadded myself while hiding my tears. I left the trials mid-way and came out of the ground. On the way home, many thoughts came to my mind, from criticizing myself to giving up on cricket and coming out of the bubble that I play cricket very well.
As soon as I reached home, I straightaway went to my room and locked myself with all those thoughts still running in my mind, and I decided that I was not going to play cricket again. I have no right to say that I am a cricketer. Should I leave the only passion I have? I decided that I would not go for the trials the next day.
After reflecting on what happened in the morning, I calmed myself and thought, why am I being too critical about the incident? I was playing in the nets with a leather ball for the first time, Right? So, I relaxed and gave myself some time to introspect and make a decision.
I play with the mindset of a professional cricketer, but I cannot let go of the reality that I am just a guy who likes to play cricket. I have not taken any coaching. I haven’t trained myself to be a professional cricketer, so why am I reacting like that? I was playing with the people who play cricket regularly. They are better trained than I am, so it was normal what happened to me.
I am good at the level I play and where I play. I should not forget that I play for my enjoyment, for relaxation, and to have a fun time. Even no one or I should forget the purpose with which they started to play.
You should not be harsh on yourself. Give time, try to talk to yourself more than anyone else at that point in time, and do not take decisions when you are emotionally not in the right state of mind!

By Eshan Panwar

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