HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY?

Have you ever felt like a doormat in your life? 

Someone asks you for something – maybe your boss, friend, parents, or teacher, and although you would like to refuse, you can’t.

 Many folks have this trouble saying NO. Our society has taught us to obey the foundations. folks that say ‘no’ are sometimes called uncooperative, selfish, rude, unlikeable, etc. Perhaps a number of them are…

 I always had the thought that people who say ‘no’ are usually labeled as rude. But as I grew up my thought process initially changed and it gave the impression of a misunderstanding to me. ‘Sometimes saying no to others can’t be hurtful instead, it can facilitate your plenty yet the opposite person. Like our parents say no to several of our useless demands they assert no not due to their financial reasons instead they are saying no only for our good as they know what we must always get and what not.

 What matters isn’t that you simply say ‘no’ but the subsequent points matter- 

· WHY does one say no

· HOW you say no

· WHEN you say no

WHY does one SAY NO

 If you say ‘no’ to someone’s request for selfish reasons, then yes, you’re selfish. If fulfilling the request helps them in a way without hurting yourself or others, then it’s wise not to say no. 

Once you said NO, sometimes a ‘no’ often like ‘not straight away, maybe later or sometimes a ‘no’ must be delayed. 

 Not Right now- It simply means maybe you’re busy doing something else of upper priority, or even the timing wasn’t right, and you simply refuse temporarily. 

Delayed No- this implies you would like to refuse the request, but you shouldn’t do it immediately. Depending on the circumstances, rejecting someone could also be as simple as spreading the bad news about death. When you say no to someone, especially if it’s a crucial request, it will be painful – for them and you. Maybe it wasn’t just like the news of death, but it was painful. You may have to delay your ‘no’ for a bit- like if by mistake you slipped while returning home you can not break the bad news to your mother until you reach home and sit all the way down to comfort the blow. Timing is a vital part of saying no. Choose the incorrect time, and increase the pain of rejection. Choose the proper time, and you’ll greatly reduce existing pain and injury. It’s uptown you to determine when each type is acceptable in your situation.

 HOW DO YOU SAY NO 

“Tone is that the hardest part of saying ‘no”

When someone tries to prompt your help in self-destruction, you have got to mention no. But take care how you say it. 

Some parents of disorganized children threaten to disown them during a very horribly disguised try to keep them on target. This doesn’t work. Maybe disowning threats reach to keep the kid heading in the right direction and being well-behaved, but it’ll end in broken trust and insecurity, which will damage the kid also the relationship. 

On the opposite hand, some parents find ways to discipline their children and refuse their usual behavior without destroying the link or provoking them further. 

People make their own choices to melt hard hearts, but you may not always succeed, irrespective of what you are doing. We all know refusing others will be painful but we must learn the simplest way to mention ‘no’ that may be accepted happily by everyone.

 • Learn to mention ‘no’ without hurting the sentiments of others 

• Learn to mention sorry once you say no and tell them the explanation of why you said no. 

• Learn to refuse the offer without damaging it intentionally. 

And once you know the other person is rude or disrespectful, just adjust your style to be more firm. 

Used at the correct time and within the right condition, ‘NO’ might be your greatest asset.

Shruti Rathi

7 thoughts on “HOW TO SAY NO WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY?

  1. The skill to say NO and knowing WHEN TO SAY NO is one that not many people possess but it can be a deciding factor in paving the path for future events which can go either way. Not refusing what against our will is something that eats us from inside and can be very dangerous for ourself and also for the person asking the favour. An amazing post about a very important topic.

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  2. If someone asks you for help with something and you can help him then I think you should. yes, but if he is asking your help for some work that is against your values/ethics or its effect is hurting someone, then he should be denied there and it should also be forbidden in a very strict tone but if you want to help someone but unable for some reason then at that time you can show your reason why you are refusing it should be polite and I liked after reading this blog that people Talking about it and sharing it too. But the blog was great and how you can refuse it is also explained very well.
    I hope you will continue to write such types of blogs in the future also.
    Thank You.

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  3. Being a friendly person it’s difficult for me to say no if somebody ask for any favour even after saying yes to certain things I regret at times but I wouldn’t able to say no. After going through this blog I have discovered that it is important to say no at sometimes and an individual wouldn’t hesitate for the same. This was a great blog. Loved reading it. I would really like if you also add who to avoid the situation and didn’t hurt other feelings.

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  4. I find it very difficult for me to say no to someone even if i know the work is out of my league than too i m not able to say no although we should learn to say no cause if we don’t say it than people take benefit of that and keep asking to do their work more often this blog helps a lott to people like me to say no without making us rude towards them and without hurting their feelings.
    This blog is very helpful hope you will keep helping people through your excellent work.

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  5. The reasons some people find it difficult to say no to their boss, friends, parents, teachers or anybody else are covered in your blog. I agree with you that this problem results from how our culture has always trained us to follow orders, whether or not we agree with them. Saying no is usually associated with being selfish, harsh, and disobedient. I must add that you also gave some wise advice on how to manage these situations, such as saying “not now,” “not shortly,” and the trickiest of all, “NO” in a low voice. Your further suggestion to be firm when we see rudeness or contempt from the other person is undoubtedly useful. I’ll always remember what you said in the last paragraph about how using NO in the right situations could turn it into our greatest asset.

    Like

  6. The reasons some people find it difficult to say no to their boss, friends, parents, teachers or anybody else are covered in your blog. I agree with you that this problem results from how our culture has always trained us to follow orders, whether or not we agree with them. Saying no is usually associated with being selfish, harsh, and disobedient. I must add that you also gave some wise advice on how to manage these situations, such as saying “not now,” “not shortly,” and the trickiest of all, “NO” in a low voice. Your further suggestion to be firm when we see rudeness or contempt from the other person is undoubtedly useful. I’ll always remember what you said in the last paragraph about how using NO in the right situations could turn it into our greatest asset.

    Like

  7. I believe that people who are afraid of saying “no” often underestimate how upset the other person will get.
    Nobody feels anything because of you. You’re not responsible for their sentiments. Depending on how individuals choose to interpret the conversation, they make their own reaction decision.
    Being kind and making explanations might help to lessen the situation a little, but in the end, each of us is ultimately accountable for our own happiness. If telling them “no” upsets them, it’s their fault.
    For the most part, you don’t owe anyone anything, and filtering your genuine responses for fear of what others will think or how they’ll respond is pointless. They’re not you. They don’t get to tell you who to be.

    Like

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