Let’s face it – college can be rough. As students navigating our way to adulthood, we endure our fair share of emotional hurts. From friendships gone awry over miscommunications, to relationships disintegrating from dishonesty or neglect – we’re bound to come across people who will discount our feelings, make light of our struggles, or fail to be there when we needed them most.
I still remember when my closest college buddy and I drifted apart because she got so caught up with her new boyfriend and friend circle. Even though we’d been inseparable for years, she suddenly didn’t have time for me anymore. I was devastated – I felt so discarded and wondered if our friendship had meant anything. At the time, I was tempted to react with bitterness and cut her off completely too.
However, I’ve realized that allowing those hurts to turn into grudges only breeds more negativity and impedes our own growth. As Nelson Mandela wisely said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” The one actually drinking the poison here is us – it fills us with toxic anger and bitterness which helps no one.
This is where the healing, liberating power of forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness allows us to let go of grudges and free ourselves from resentment. And it’s a necessary ingredient both for our emotional well-being and spiritual evolution.
What Forgiveness Actually Means
I used to see forgiveness simply as a virtuous act of rising above hostility. Now I realize it’s not about approving the other person’s hurtful actions at all. True forgiveness means releasing yourself from a painful entanglement with another person that’s holding you back.
It’s accepting that we all have our own inner battles and are at different stages in our journey. People may hurt you not because they’re evil but because they too are hurting inside, or haven’t developed empathy and compassion. Forgiveness is choosing your peace and freedom rather than staying chained to past wounds.
Why It Matters in College
Trust me, I know forgiveness is far from easy, especially when still nursing those wounds. But even small acts help – whether it’s letting go of mean nicknames bullies called you or seeing things from your ex’s perspective post break-up.
Something that’s helped me immensely is writing it all out – keeping a forgiveness journal. Putting emotions into words is cathartic, as though lancing an infected wound. It brings much-needed closure. After a guy I really liked starting ignoring me, I wrote a forgiveness letter, seeing how he was dealing with personal struggles. I mailed it to myself instead of him. But it allowed me to move on.
The Impact on Our Relationships
Practicing forgiveness has changed me profoundly. It has enabled me to rebuild broken connections when we both chose to drop ego walls. It has also made me more self-aware and sensitive about how my words and actions impact others.
I believe if more students fostered empathy and the grace to let go of petty hurts caused in the whirlwind of college life, it would lead to much healthier relationships all around.
Forgiveness for Emotional and Spiritual Growth
In every faith, forgiveness is seen as an act that elevates us – it’s the conduit to emotional healing as well as spiritual growth. When Jesus spoke of forgiving “seventy times seven” times, he was emphasizing boundless grace we must emulate, not setting a boundary.
I help myself to journal, meditate and visualize whenever old wounds come back. I’d picture trusting my bitterness to the universe, and knowing that when I let it go there would be peace. As we seek to spread lighter, it reminds me that all of us are flawed and learning.
The Final Word
As we walk the tightrope between our childhood and adulthood, we will mess up, hurt others and get hurt in return. But amidst the chaos, may we find it within us to offer forgiveness abundantly – for its perhaps the greatest act of courage and love for ourselves and others we share space with.
– NEHA SONI
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